We’re fed a constant news diet of negativity and doom and many people have had a rough 18 months since the pandemic began. The future, although slightly brighter due to the vaccines, is still uncertain.

So, you’d think any reasonably bright person nursing a potentially controversial opinion that might upset and anger many people, would keep their thoughts to themselves for the time being.  But today, every and any opinion, however misguided, is allowed an airing in the public forum.

Rachel Adamson, co-director of charity Zero Tolerance, which does admirable work protecting women from male violence, apparently disapproves of “The Tiger Who Came To Tea” – the book enjoyed by generations of children since it was published in 1968 – because it ‘reinforces gender stereotypes’ and ‘gives an old-fashioned portrayal of women and family dynamics’.

For those who are unaware, the late Judith Kerr, who wrote and illustrated the book as well as the wonderful ‘Mog The Cat’ series, was Jewish, born in Berlin and as a child in the 1930s witnessed the rise of the Nazi party – who, you may recall, burned books they disapproved of.

Her father was a journalist who often criticised the Nazis and on the eve of the 1933 election he heard that if the Nazis won, he and his family would be imprisoned . . . or worse.

Fortunately, they escaped to England on the morning of the election and were later told that the following day, armed soldiers came to their house looking for them.

After Judith and her family had narrowly escaped living under Nazi brutality, in later life would this highly intelligent woman write a book that she knew ‘reinforced gender stereotypes’ and made women feel uncomfortable?

Of course not.

Miss Adamson did not call for the book to be banned but said it could be used to ‘raise a conversation’ in nurseries.  Which is a good job as it’s not such a huge leap from wanting to ban books to burning them.

You’re well-educated, witty, wise and other flattering words beginning with ‘W’.  How do I know? Because you read my articles.

You probably speak at least one foreign language, maybe even Japanese or Javanese.  But how are you with the language we all need to understand today – ‘Jargonese’?

This is the impenetrable wording used by many organisations from banks to Government departments to ‘easily explain’ complicated matters.  In fact, they tend to complicate matters that could be explained far more easily.

Jargonese often appears in the ‘small print’ of documents, which makes it so difficult to read, many of us don’t bother – even though a part of our brain is screaming, “Read it or regret it later!”

Adverts on commercial radio stations for accident claims specialists or PPI companies end with an actor ‘explaining’  the ‘Ts and Cs’ so quickly it’s impossible to comprehend what they are – the verbal equivalent of small print Jargonese.

Here’s  a classic example of Jargonese contained in a letter a friend of mine (and thousands of other customers) recently received from the Group Chief Executive of his bank.

And I quote . . .

“Our differentiated, customer-focused business model continues to deliver with our multi brand multi channel approach, cost leadership, low risk positioning, investment capacity and execution capabilities positioning us well for sustainable success in a digital world.”  Phew! You can say that again!

No, don’t! Once was enough.

Apart from the fact his comments mean little to The Ordinary Man In The Street or The Slightly Wealthier Man In The Avenue, I’d guess the Group Chief Executive is allergic to hyphens.  Because despite being an expert in Jargonese he left out hyphens between ‘multi’ and ‘brand‘ and ‘multi’ and ‘channel’.  So, I put them in.

As I say, it’s only a guess.  I’m just being ‘hyphenthetical’ – a word that would easily fit in the Dictionary Of Jargonese!

It’s well known that Americans are hard-working people who have far less annual holidays than us and their country doesn’t close down for two weeks during the Christmas/New Year period.  They don’t even have Boxing Day in their calendars!

Hollywood folk famously have dinner (very rarely pie and chips) at six pm and are in bed by eight.

Having established Americans are so career-focused, it’s puzzling that over there, late-night TV talk shows that go out at 11.30 pm, Monday to Friday, have been popular since The Tonight Show was hosted by Steve Allen in the 1950s followed bv Johnny Carson (for 30 memorable years) and currently Jimmy Fallon.

Some talk shows even start at 12. 30 am, like the Late Late Show with James Corden. He’s become a major star in America so people must be staying up late, late to watch him.

Where do people get the energy to come home from work, stay up to 1.30 am and then get up early next morning to face the commute from the suburbs into the city?  Beats me!

It’s safe to say five nights a week late-night talk shows and late-night hosts, however personable, witty or ‘on the ball’ they are, have never quite appealed to British audiences, although it’s been tried many times.

Most recently, the multi-talented Bradley Walsh made a valiant attempt at hosting a ‘live’ late-night show five nights a week – but it only had a short run.

Having said that, if any TV producers are looking for someone ‘personable, witty and on the ball’ to host a new late-night talk show…you know who to ask.  No! Not Owen Money! Me!

One reason that’s given for the failure of British late-night talk shows is that in LA or New York, broadcasters have an unending supply of big-name guests willing to plug their new film, TV show or album.  But I have my own theory…

I think most working Brits switch off their tellies after the ten ’o’ clock news, make a hot drink, head upstairs to finish the crossword in bed and switch off the light at 11.17 precisely.  Or is that just me?

Have a guess what, according to a nationwide survey of 2000 couples, are the biggest contributions to a happy relationship over many years.

Go on – have a guess.

You’ve obviously got nothing more important to do if you’re reading this.  Some of the answers that couples gave were surprising, well at least to me.  Like “Knowing each other’s PIN numbers”.  I mean, come on.

I’m all for committing to a relationship 150% – but there have to be sensible limits!  Many ladies said that regular kisses and cuddles – or cwtshes as we say around these parts – play an important part.  And, as long as they don’t involve the milkman, I’m all for that.

Many couples stick to the old adage, “Never go to sleep on an argument”.  So have I . . . since the night we had a tiff . . . She went to sleep on an argument – and I went to sleep on a sofa.

It’s also important to be able to openly and calmly discuss potential disagreements before they start to silently fester over many weeks, eventually exploding into a full-blown argument that ends up with crockery being thrown, your favourite shirt being attacked by scissors and the front door slamming as she goes off to her mother’s, vowing never ever to return, “Even if you got down on your one good knee and begged me to come back!”

Am I speaking from experience?  Certainly not!  That was all hypothetical. Besides which, my knee’s much better now.

Other secrets of happy relationships are having no secrets from each other (apart from your PIN number!) and being diplomatic. i.e. when your good lady asks you if her bum looks big in her new skinny jeans, it’s best not to reply, “Can you define ‘big’?”

One fifth of the couples surveyed said it’s important to have two television sets – in different rooms obviously, otherwise it would definitely lead to arguments.  I disagree.  In our house there’s just one TV and one person in charge of the remote control.  Always.  Although, if I ask her nicely, she’ll hand it over occasionally….