You’re well-educated, witty, wise and other flattering words beginning with ‘W’.  How do I know? Because you read my articles.

You probably speak at least one foreign language, maybe even Japanese or Javanese.  But how are you with the language we all need to understand today – ‘Jargonese’?

This is the impenetrable wording used by many organisations from banks to Government departments to ‘easily explain’ complicated matters.  In fact, they tend to complicate matters that could be explained far more easily.

Jargonese often appears in the ‘small print’ of documents, which makes it so difficult to read, many of us don’t bother – even though a part of our brain is screaming, “Read it or regret it later!”

Adverts on commercial radio stations for accident claims specialists or PPI companies end with an actor ‘explaining’  the ‘Ts and Cs’ so quickly it’s impossible to comprehend what they are – the verbal equivalent of small print Jargonese.

Here’s  a classic example of Jargonese contained in a letter a friend of mine (and thousands of other customers) recently received from the Group Chief Executive of his bank.

And I quote . . .

“Our differentiated, customer-focused business model continues to deliver with our multi brand multi channel approach, cost leadership, low risk positioning, investment capacity and execution capabilities positioning us well for sustainable success in a digital world.”  Phew! You can say that again!

No, don’t! Once was enough.

Apart from the fact his comments mean little to The Ordinary Man In The Street or The Slightly Wealthier Man In The Avenue, I’d guess the Group Chief Executive is allergic to hyphens.  Because despite being an expert in Jargonese he left out hyphens between ‘multi’ and ‘brand‘ and ‘multi’ and ‘channel’.  So, I put them in.

As I say, it’s only a guess.  I’m just being ‘hyphenthetical’ – a word that would easily fit in the Dictionary Of Jargonese!