Anyone who writes for a living (This is a living?) knows that spelling words correctly is vitally important.  It only takes one additional letter or one less to change the whole meaning of certain words.

Sometimes a word that’s missing one letter can create an unintended laugh, like the classic about the estate agency advertising an expensive residence that has… “A delightful French widow in every room!”

Or the card in a newsagent’s window that read…  “For sale. Three-piece suit that can comfortably accommodate a family of six”.

A couple of weeks ago, a friend sent me a text to tell me how he and his partner had spent the Easter Weekend.  It wasn’t a long text describing the fun and frolics they’d got up to at the seaside. It simply explained that because they’d had a hectic couple of months juggling work and family life since the beginning of the year, they’d decided to stay at home.

Because driving to a beach on the first Bank Holiday weekend of the year and sharing the roads with half the population of Wales, desperate to get out of their homes at last, held about as much appeal as replacing a loose filing with one of those now-popular dental repair kits… and an electric drill.

Anyway, his text made me smile because he said: “We spent Easter Sunday and Monday bing watching films!”  Yes. That’s right. BING watching!

See how dropping the letter ‘e’ off the end of a word can create an unintended laugh?

I was about to text him back and point out his mistake, but suddenly wondered if he really had mis-spelt ‘Binge’.

Because it’s possible he and his partner were fans of the late crooner and had spent the Easter weekend watching back-to-back Bing Crosby films like “Road To Morocco”, “White Christmas” and “Robin and the Seven Hoods”.

So instead, I texted back “When the time’s right we must meet up to enjoy a pint!” but typed it so quickly I accidentally left the ‘t’ off ‘pint’.  He must still be wondering how we’d find any enjoyment with a pin!

I’m in need of some help here.

My gran would always tell me to “never cast a clout until May is out” and to be honest, for most of my childhood, I never knew what on earth she was talking about.

Apparently, since the 15th century ‘clout’ is a word that has been used to describe a fragment of cloth or clothing and could be spelled as clowt, clowte, cloot, or clute.

The meaning was a reminder not to be too quick to chuck the winter clothes before cooler days during the month of May were most likely over. We have woken up to ice on the garden this morning so they may have a point!

I bet when that original quote was made up, they never imagined their relatives in years to come would spend 12 months wearing pyjamas and track suits and shouting at each other on Zoom.

I bet I’m not alone in not only worrying whether I should bin my clout yet, but will any of my “going out” clothes still fit?

I’m seriously considering joining in the trend of wearing my pyjamas to the supermarket . . .

Do you remember the alien invasion of Cwmtwrch in the Swansea Valley on New Year’s Eve a couple of years ago?

Or were you in a local hostelry dancing the night away to a semi-pro covers band who were so uncool they made The Wurzels look like Coldplay?

The Cwmtrwch invasion occurred in the 2017 film “Canaries” which held a spot in Sky Cinema’s ‘Most Watched Movies’ list for three months and has just been released on DVD.

“Canaries” was produced by Craig Russell, who grew up in Cwmtwrch, and despite having a micro-budget, thanks to the talent in front of and behind the camera, the film is as entertaining as any Hollywood blockbuster.

Cornwall-based Craig (who is also an actor) is returning to west Wales to shoot a horror film called “Protein”, about a traumatised ex-soldier who, unable to afford the protein diet he needs to lift his target weight, kills and eats those who can!

Without fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Filming should have started last November but was delayed because of the pandemic and is expected to get underway around Carmarthen, Llanelli and Cwmtwrch this week.

Along with director Tony Burke and executive producer Huw Penallt Jones, Craig has teamed up with Carmarthenshire-based production company Broadside Films, which is headed-up by Tom Gripper and Dan Bailey.

Craig boasts an extensive catalogue of work as an actor, including Netflix’s “The Last Kingdom”.

In “Protein”, he’ll play the lead character, so he’s currently dropping weight and reshaping his body.

The sheer logistics of shooting in a pandemic is a huge challenge for the cast and crew as Covid affects everything.  Appropriate accommodation is required for the cast and team; there’s strict social distancing on and off set; actors need a car each to get to and from the locations; and anyone coming on set with a cough or temperature would cause delays, because safety comes first.

Craig hopes to premiere “Protein” in Cwmtwrch, then get it out to the film festivals circuit and from there into cinemas.

In the meantime, if you live near Cwmtwrch – hide all your protein shakes!

When writing this particular item for the paper, I have to admit that I wasn’t feeling my usual self.  We all get off days where it feels very difficult to be positive and upbeat all of the time. More so lately, during the pandemic lockdown.

But when these niggling doubts creep in, I accept the fact it’s ok not to feel happy all day every day, then take time to reflect on the things that I should be grateful for and often take for granted.

For a start, I woke up this morning, I could see out of the bedroom window and I can breathe in fresh air.

Some days, we need to invest in self care to continue to be able to help others.

The last year has taught us all about priorities, what is important and what we really need to make us tick.  Being close to people who make us feel good, cwtshes and groups of people laughing together, to name but a few.

No doubt we are all guilty of taking people and relationships for granted at times and I am sure I’m not alone in having more time than ever to reflect on how lucky I am over the last few weeks.

Self care isn’t a luxury my friends, it’s essential.

Good news for fans of ear-splitting action films, industrial size buckets of popcorn and three-gallon bottles of pop.  Some cinemas could be re-opening.

I’ve got mixed feelings about this, because although I enjoy seeing films in a cinema, people’s selfish behaviour often ruins the experience.

To recreate the ‘genuine cinema experience’ watching films on TV, my partner sits behind me and kicks the back of my chair and I send text messages during the quiet scenes.

This past year, film studios have held back their big releases, so a major streaming service which rhymes with Wet Sticks offered to buy the new James Bond adventure after its cinema release was delayed yet again.

But the canny Bond people refused to sell them “No Time To Die”, knowing that when cinemas re-open and millions around the world flock to see it, they’ll make a return on their enormous investment.

The current monster mash-up “Godzilla Vs Kong” is getting a cinema and streaming release and when I first read about the 100-ft radiation-breathing dinosaur taking on a 30-ft gorilla in unfair combat, I was reminded of a film I saw listed in the TV schedules last year… “Airplane vs Volcano” which, surprisingly lasts more than one minute.

A metal aeroplane taking on a massive volcano spewing molten lava – there can only be one outcome, surely?  If you’ve been brave enough to sit through it, let me know if I’m wrong?

The newly re-edited, extended four-hour directors cut of the already bum-numbingly long “Justice League” has sparked a debate about which films might be improved by re-editing.

For example…

Every Will Ferrell film could be improved if all the scenes he appears in were edited-out.

In a re-edited “Mrs Doubtfire”, Robin Williams’ hideous (and so obvious) Halloween rubber mask – which would have given his kids nightmares – could be swapped for a more realistic ‘Old Lady’ make-up job.  And he could drop the terrible ‘Scoor-tesh’ accent.

While the end of “Titanic” could be improved if Rose told the people in the lifeboat “Cwtsh up folks and make room for Jack!”

See you in the cheap seats!

Well – I’m glad Easter is over, there is only so much chocolate one can eat. Safely.

Personally, I didn’t have any Easter eggs, but everywhere I went there were chocolate eggs for sale.  I didn’t buy any as I didn’t consider them an “essential item” as I performed a 10-minute dash around the store in order for the next two people to be let in.  Now I know how Noah’s animals felt!

For the record, I’ve picked a few up today after Easter at a fraction of the price they were last week.  I love a bargain.

Was it worth an hour wait, two metres apart from any other human? Probably not.

Don’t judge me on this. We all like a bargain from time to time. We all have our funny ways and if we were all the same, life would be so flipping boring, and I wouldn’t have anything to write about every week.

We should all embrace and celebrate our differences.  Let’s face it, we have enough time to think about them at the moment.

Many of the greatest people in history often didn’t fit in, which turned out to be a huge asset for them.  They didn’t know at the time, but by being true to themselves, they stood out and greatness was achieved.  Maybe this is something we could all think about?

Last weekend, while flicking through the 500 plus channels on my TV, I regretted breaking the remote control because pressing the buttons on the side of the TV set was becoming very tiring.

Resting my weary arm, I stopped on a channel that was showing a 1950s Hollywood Western in colour and widescreen that, being a 1950s Hollywood Western, featured a cast of macho actors with names like Rock and Brick and Terracotta Rooftile.

It was almost the end of the film and, in the saloon, the handsome sheriff was enjoying a pint of Brains – or it could have been a Malibu and lemonade – with the leading lady.

Suddenly a grizzled old-timer with a gammy leg called Stumpy (no, I don’t know what his other leg was called) hobbled in and told the Sheriff that out on the street, notorious outlaw ‘No Nose’ O’Toole was waiting to challenge him to a gunfight.

As the handsome Sheriff, acting cool, said “Okay, but first I’m gonna finish my pint of Brains – or Malibu and lemonade,” the villain shouted, “I’m calling you out, sheriff!”

And I suddenly realised that’s where the expression “Calling someone out”, which is used all over the place these days, originally came from!

In the Old West, you challenged someone to a gun fight, by ‘Calling him out!’

But its meaning has changed since cowboy gunfights went out of fashion.  Though I did once witness a furious pea-shooter duel outside an Ammanford hostelry!

Today, when someone says, “I’m calling so and so out!” they mean they’re criticising them or asking them to explain their actions.  So why not just say that?

Why use an American expression when we have perfectly adequate ones of our own?

Another annoying import from the United States that media people like to use is ‘From the get-go!”.  The get-go?

What’s wrong with “Right from the start”?   Or “From the beginning”?

And don’t get me started on politicians who lazily say . . . “Going forward” when they mean “In the future!”

If I discover who imported these pointless American expressions, going forward, I’m going to call them out!

Do you have an opinion? Does it matter?

The world is constantly changing and so are opinions, which we often find challenging due to the fact that we also have our own opinions.

We are fortunate to be living in a country that, in the main, grants us freedom of speech and more and more people are now stepping up to the mark and confidently speaking up, which can so often be a double-edged sword.

We have discovered that social media is great for putting your opinion across, but it also gives idiots a voice, too . . . far too often without any repercussions.

This, in itself, is a modern day curse and I have personally witnessed the downside to such shenanigans. Keyboard warriors who hide behind their screens and become very brave, nothing more than modern day bullies.

Friendly debate will soon be a thing of the past, if our politicians, world and industry leaders don’t control their emotions and show evidence of professional respect, while setting an example for generations to come.

Education is key for a balanced debate and there IS always two sides to an argument (did you see what I did there?).

As a comedian I’m often asked, “What happens to jokes that aren’t funny? Well, they become politicians!”

Elections coming up, use your vote wisely!