When we have a heat wave that’s so sizzling you see chickens laying fried eggs on the pavement, I wonder “What is the point of wearing a tie?”

Or, as our American cousins call it . . . ‘the neck tie’.

Because it’s the most pointless, useless item of clothing known to man – and when the weather is sweltering it’s also the most annoying.

I don’t often wear them, but there are occasions other than weddings and funerals when I’m expected to dress formerly – which means a collar and tie.  Oh, and trousers.  I don’t want to be arrested for that again.  And if the venue is hot, I get bothered.

The sole purpose of a tie is to act as a barrier against soup, curry and red wine staining a man’s shirt.

Ties can also cause family rifts.

One Christmas my mother bought me a red tie and a blue tie. I went upstairs to get dressed and came down wearing the red one.  My mother glared at me and said “So . . . what’s wrong with the other one?”