When I was a lad, my gran warned me that watching too much television would harm my eyes.

As young boys tend to, I ignored her and absorbed as much of the three channels our 17” telly offered as I could.

We were content with BBC One & Two and ITV as there always seemed to be something ‘great’ to watch – especially on a Saturday night.

The deterioration of TV programme quality since a mind-boggling selection of channels was thrust upon us – I don’t remember asking for them, do you? – will be the subject of a future article, I’m sure….

I had no idea my gran was a fortune teller able to look into the future as far as 2017.  Because it’s only this year that TV started to harm my eyes – to such an extent, when I hear the theme music to certain shows I take the precaution of putting on my sunglasses before damage can be inflicted on my retinas.

If you’ve watched any breakfast TV show, all-women lunchtime talk show or early evening ‘topical’/consumer-style show, your eyesight will also have been in danger.

I can’t be the only person who’s noticed that dozens of British TV presenters have had their teeth chemically treated – or possibly sand-blasted – to such an incredible degree of gleaming white brightness, if ever their TV careers hit the rocks, they could obtain employment as light houses.

We’re used to everyone on American TV having perfect teeth, but here it’s a fairly recent phenomenon for presenters to open their mouths and dazzle us with perfect, blindingly white gnashers – and I find it a little spooky.

One female presenter’s smile is so supernaturally white she could open her mouth and illuminate the Channel Tunnel. Would I go in for the same treatment?

No. I’m much too long in the tooth.