I’m passing on a story I’ve heard several different versions of – each of them set in a different location, from a London pub toilet to a tropical island.
I suspect it’s apocryphal – but really hope it isn’t.
As you have a delicate nature, this version doesn’t occur in a gents’ loo, but on a white sandy beach overlooking the Caribbean ocean, where successful songwriter Barry Mason was relaxing on a sunbed, soaking up the suns rays, plastered in Factor 50.
As he was lying there, his eyes closed beneath his designer shades. the man lying on the sunbed to his immediate right, started whistling a just-about-recognisable version of the Tom Jones classic ‘Delilah’.
Not just a few notes. The entire song from beginning to end – verses, chorus, the lot!
And, when he finished, he started whistling it all over again!
If the whistler had possessed a modicum of musical talent, it would have been annoying enough for anyone within hearing distance, but the man could barely carry a tune.
To be fair to him, if we must, the chorus is so well-known, even the world’s-worst whistler (and this man could definitely have had a shot at the title) couldn’t have mangled it beyond complete recognition.
By the time he was halfway through his second bash at it, even his wife had had enough and headed to the sea for a paddle.
Just as the man pursed his lips to attempt a third version of ‘Delilah’, Barry Mason sat up, removed his sunglasses and turned to the whistler to say, “You seem to like ‘Delilah’?”
When the man nodded, Barry said, without any ego, “I wrote that song!”
The whistler, obviously knowledgeable about songwriting, asked, “Are you Les Reed?”
Barry said, “No. Les wrote the melody. My name’s Barry Mason and I wrote the lyrics!”
Unimpressed, the man said, “Yeah, well, I wasn’t whistling the ‘bleeping’ lyrics, was I?” and headed off down the beach to join his wife.
Barry may have wondered ‘Why? Why? Why?’ he’d mentioned his contribution to the song.
But I prefer to think he just ‘Stood there, laughing’!