I was queuing in my bank, waiting to deposit my winnings from the one-armed bandit in my local pub.
For those of you who don’t know, he’s a Brazilian named Pedro Gonzales and (as he’s minus one arm) you wonder why he didn’t follow a less demanding career than banditry . . . and also why he plays pub dominos for money with me, the man crowned West Wales Domino Champion three years running.
And, believe me, playing dominos while you’re running takes some doing.
As I queued, I was forced to listen to a cacophony of songs playing from the speakers around me. Mainly ear-piercing, back-to-back, soulful (i.e. depressing) ballads sung by Adele squawk-a-likes.
It seemed totally inappropriate for what is, after all, a business environment where customers carry out private or commercial financial matters, without having their ears assaulted by someone wringing every last syllable out of a simple line like “You don’t love me anymore” for 10 minutes,
That evening, the TV news announced more branches of a well-known bank are closing because the majority of their customers bank online.
A spokesperson said only eight per cent actually use their local branch, mainly people over the age of 60 – stopping short of referring to them as dinosaurs or nuisances. But only just!
I question that low percentage. But, assuming it’s true, I have a couple of questions . . .
Why do banks have songs playing in the background, anyway?
People managed quite well without it for decades and not one customer commented, as they cashed their wages cheque, “You know, what this place needs is some Sinatra blasting out!”
If most customers who use banks in 2024 are over 60, why are the songs they have to listen to more likely to appeal to the under 30s, who, we’re assured, all bank online?
Banks can’t have it both ways.
Could it be a sinister ploy by banks to make the experience so excruciating for loyal customers who’ve been with them for years, they decide to throw in the towel and bank online?
If so, eventually only the staff will be left to hum along to the songs . . just before the branch closes and they’re out of work.