Technology is just alien to me…

Dinosaurs still rule the earth, so call me Mr T.Rex.

I recently read a fascinating article in the New Scientist magazine (I buy it for the Heavenly Bodies on Page Three) commenting on the astonishing advances in technology that have occurred in a relatively short period.

Geologists claim the Earth is 4.543 billion years old, yet it’s only in the last couple of hundred years that that amazing things like the electric light bulb, radio, telephones, cinema, television and Krispy Kreme doughnuts were invented.

In the blink of Time’s eye we moved from walking around in tiger-skin leotards catching voles for supper (to make ra-vole-oli!) to driving around in Model-T Fords.

Was the Industrial Revolution secretly spear-headed by aliens who planted genius ideas into the minds of (among others) Sir Humphrey Davy, Thomas Edison and the bloke who created soft toilet paper, in order to speed-up our scientific progress?

Many think that’s the only explanation.

Then again, many people watch “Love Island” – and there’s no explanation for that.

Today, unless you keep up with every technological advancement – such a person is officially known as a ‘geek’ – you’re considered a dinosaur.

This was brought home to me when talking to a young relative about a newspaper article that claimed many hotels will soon dispense with key cards.

People will be able to access their rooms using their mobile phones.

I made the mistake of saying, “That’ll never happen. What if you don’t own a mobile phone?”

When she looked at me with such a baffled expression you’d swear I’d spoken in some ancient Sumerian language, I realised she was completely unable to grasp the concept of someone not owning a mobile phone.

As mobile phones have only been around for 20 years, I think we may have had a second visit from those intelligence-enhancing aliens.

But if they called at my house, I must have been out!