Copying a familiar tabloid headline, I’m about to ‘Break my silence’.
Even though I haven’t been particularly silent lately.
But first, a word of advice . . .
If you intend watching any of Disney’s “Winnie The Pooh” cartoons, do be aware one ‘Bouncy, flouncy ounce, pouncey’ character (whose top is made out of rubber and bottom out of string) constantly behaves in a manic, over-enthusiastic manner.
That was a Tigger Warning.
I was so annoyed by a recent TV news broadcast, I switched off and went into the kitchen to do the washing-up.
I’d have liked to have done it in the living room, but its distance from the hot tap made it impractical.
As I stood at the sink ruminating, (still legal in most of Wales) , the song “If I Ruled The World” came on the radio and I started thinking that, if I ruled the world, I know what I’d do to improve TV news broadcasts.
Not the actual news – nobody can alter events that happen at home and abroad.
No, I’d make changes to the presentation and some of the over-used phrases.
Take ‘Psycho Drama’. That sprung from nowhere and now it’s all over the news. I used to think a Psycho Drama was one of those not-very-thrilling thrillers Channel 5 churn out.
It might cause some readers to remember Anthony Perkins being revealed as the murderer, wearing his mother’s dress and a Hylda Baker wig at the end of Hitchcock’s classic.
That’s hardly a spoiler. ‘Psycho’ is 66 years old.
Psycho Dramas are what news reporters and pundits call political party’s internal squabbles, a perfectly adequate term that, if I ruled the world, I’d insist they reverted to.
I’d also stop the practice of meteorologists giving names to every potentially destructive storm heading our way. It’s ludicrous and pointless. Also, have you noticed we’ve been getting a lot more of them since they’ve been given names?
I complained about this a year ago, but they’re still doing it. They’ll take notice when I rule the world . . . mark my words.
Then you’ll see the headline…
PHIL EVANS BREAKS SILENCE OVER STORM-NAMING PSYCHO DRAMA!