After months of relentlessly wet, windy and depressing weather, many of us have only managed to keep up our dampened spirits by looking forward to those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer when we can get out into that energising source of Vitamin D3….sunshine!

Oh, just to refer back to a subject I previously moaned…err…wrote  . . . about, although the sun flew off to warmer climes last October, some men are so desperate to expose their saggy-baggy bodies, they doggedly wear ridiculous–looking saggy-baggy shorts all year round.

I saw an example of this macho madness at McArthur Glen shopping centre in Bridgend a couple of Saturdays ago.

While other shoppers were protected from the icy wind by coats, scarves and gloves, one obese, shaven-headed ‘gentleman’ was wearing shorts, a sleeveless tee-shirt…and open-toed sandals!

And, naturally, he was shouting into his mobile telephone as he swaggered around.

To quote Del Boy – “What a plonker!”

Back to the subject in hand . . .

What could be better for your well-being than stretching out on a white sandy beach, listening to the sound of the sea lapping against the shore as your skin turns a deep golden brown?

Well…sticking your head into a whirring food mixer, for a start!

Because according to the latest ‘scientific research that’s meant to make our lives miserable’, there’s no such thing as a healthy tan – and the fair-skinned should spend no more than 10 minutes in strong sunlight.

Just 10 measly minutes lying in the sun every day!

That hardly makes it worthwhile for sun-seekers to spend several thousand pounds on a 14-night luxury break to the Bahamas, the Caribbean or Llandudno.

However, there is a very serious element at the core of that advice.

Even though we all know the dangers of over-exposure to the sun,  obviously we have to keep being told, because every year in the UK there are more than 13,500 cases of malignant melanoma – the deadliest form of skin cancer.

And the incidence is rising faster than any other cancer.

Hugh Jackman recently had skin cancer for the fifth time – now successfully removed – which he puts down to not using sunscreen.

Okay, he’s Australian, but that country knew about the dangers of sunbathing decades ago.

Enjoy your summer holiday, abroad or in the UK, but please slap on the sunscreen, don’t stay out in the sun too long and remember this little motto –

“If you roast…you’re toast!

Now where are my shorts…?