This week I’m emulating the Chancellor Of The Exchequer.
No. I’m not admitting I failed my Math’s GCSE! I’m ‘Giving with one hand and taking with the other’.
Regular readers know I regard daytime TV as the Devil’s work, designed to trap humans in a never-ending cycle of mind-numbing ‘life-style’ and‘property’ shows, bargain hunting shows and back-to-back game shows, hosted by the increasing number of TV personalities who have absolutely no personality.
But Old Nick performed his greatest con trick when he created breakfast television.
Something that nobody asked for; nobody wanted; and nobody in their right mind spends more than 10 minutes glancing at before they leave for work.
But . . .
On a recent weekend morning, when it was too wet to go out, I watched an hour or so of the BBC Breakfast show.
Although the presenters possessed all the charisma of two empty crisp packets blown down a rain-soaked street by a chilly autumn wind, it suddenly dawned on me how difficult their jobs were.
In order to be on air from six am, they’d have to be at the studio at least 90 minutes beforehand to get informed, prepped, made-up and psyched-up to broadcast ‘live’ to the nation.
So their alarm clocks would have gone off around three am.
Every day, they must appear wide-awake, as they continually adjust to the tone of the next story.
They can switch from talking to a family who’ve suffered a horrendous tragedy or are challenging an intransigent Government Department over a terrible injustice, to having a light-hearted chat with a comedian or pop star, plugging their up-coming tour.
Apart from the interviews, at set times, they introduce contributions from their colleagues in sport, weather and business/financial matters. And the regional news bulletins!
They must be so relieved when each show is over.
Okay. Having given it with one hand, here’s what I’m taking with the other . . .
I still think we could live without breakfast TV.
And ITV’s decision to drop their (insultingly brief)) local news opt-outs after 7.15 am is a disgrace!
BTW – I didn’t fail my Math’s GSCE!