Brrr! It’s that time of year again when the big question arises: have you turned your heating on yet, or are you still trying to channel your inner polar bear?
Well, I finally took the plunge, only to be greeted by a delightful symphony of gurgles and hisses that sounded like my boiler was auditioning for a role in a horror film.
And then, silence!
My boiler decided it was time for a holiday, leaving me in a frosty chill that could rival any winter wonderland film. I half expected to see a snowman waving at me from the living room.
But fear not. I have boiler cover with a well-known supplier, so I knew a fun adventure awaited.
I dialed the number, ready for action, and was greeted by a voice so cheerful she could have been the human equivalent of a hot cocoa. “Your call is very important!” she chirped. Really? Because I was starting to feel like a penguin waiting for the ice to thaw.
Some 20 minutes in, I was on a first-name basis with the hold music, seriously, I could audition for an elevator hits album.
Just when I thought I’d become one with my phone, a real voice broke through the haze. In my excitement, I fumbled my phone like a clumsy acrobat, and poof. Call disconnected!
Now, five days into my frosty fun, I’m convinced my house might qualify as an ice sculpture.
At this point, I’m just waiting for a family of penguins to move in. But hey, at least I can claim the title for the world’s longest wait for heating.
Here’s hoping the next chapter comes with some heat, preferably before I start charging admission for my new winter wonderland.