Since I’ve been writing for the South Wales Evening Post, the comedian in me  ( in case you didn’t know, I spend several evenings a week, comeding) I’ve slowly begun to notice that journalism has a lot in common with piracy.

They’re both cut-throat businesses and many newspaper employees wear black eye-patches and wander around the office with squawking parrots on their shoulders.  As you can imagine it’s a colourful sight, although the dominant colour is cream – in the streaks that parrots leave down the back of their owners jackets…

So, given it’s such a cut-throat business, I’m deliriously happy that this esteemed publication continues to allow me to entertain you with my weekly whimsical witterings.

I’ve still not been cured of my advanced alliteration addiction, despite several soul-searching sessions with Sven, a simply superb, sensitive Swansea psychiatrist.

So, in case I’m not around, allow me to be the first to wish you a Happy Easter!

Because Spring is just around the corner!

And so is my local Chinese take-away! Wa-hey!

Yes, as soon as the Winter Solstice was behind us, I felt the days were getting longer.

Or did they just seem longer? Because I was parked in front of my TV for two weeks, being subjected to the truly desperate Christmas offerings the broadcasters decided we’d find entertaining – while they flew off to their fashionable ski resorts for a month.

So . . . what awaits us in 2015? Apart from the fact there will always be a sale at a furniture store whose initials are an anagram of FDS.

By the way, does anyone know what a mid-season sale is?

I’m not allowed to mention the actual name of the store as it could be construed as advertising.

Which I, the entertainer, would definitely not lower myself to do, sat here writing this in the mountain warehouse I call my home base, giving it the works, all on my jack jones, wearing boots, wondering what to do next.

Those of you who spotted all those shop names will be proud as peacocks.

Many of us will have made New Year resolutions to improve our health, weight, careers and our lives in general.

And many of us will have broken every one of those resolutions by the first week of February.

Because losing weight, giving-up (or cutting down on) drinking and quitting smoking  takes a lot of will power – and sometimes a stiff drink and a quick fag – to help us focus and maintain a new regime.

So in six months, I’d love to hear from any of you who lost weight, stopped smoking or cut out  booze – and maintained these changes for more than a few weeks.

Provided the good ship Evening Post hasn’t made me walk the plonk. It’s like walking the plank, but you give out a weak whine….

Wa-hey again!