Calling all cures for an over-active imagination.

When people have too much spare time on their hands, their minds can create questions they might not otherwise have asked.

If you disagree with this thinly-disguised set-up for a couple of jokes at the end of the article, it’s probably best that you turn the page . . .

I started mulling over strange questions while in my doctor’s waiting room recently – and to calm the one reader who might be concerned about my health, I wasn’t there for medical reasons.

The previous time I was there – three years ago – from a pile of well-thumbed magazines, provided to help patients pass the time, I picked up a copy of “Archaeology Monthly” (for the prehistoric mounds on Page 3!) and I was halfway through a fascinating article on Ancient Roman mosaics, when I was called into the doctor’s consulting room.

So, as I had some time on my hands last week, I popped back to see if I could finish the article.

Three years had passed – and I was disappointed.

The magazine was still there, but the remainder of the article wasn’t as fascinating as the section I’d read.

As I didn’t have anything pressing to do – I’d ironed all my shirts the day before – I sat back and let random thoughts pass through my mind.

Like . . .

Why do people whose mobile telephones have the loudest, most annoying ring-tones always take longer to answer them than the rest of us?

When did shop assistants stop asking customers “Can I help you?” and replace it with the almost-uninterested “Are you alright there?”

They used to be worn by motorway policemen, railway workers and others employed in hazardous occupations. Now anyone can wear them. Why is the Government turning a blind eye to Hi-Visibility Jackets?

If anyone wants me, I’ll be at the doctors having my blood pressure checked.