I’ve been sharing my ramblings with you for many years. I think, when I wrote my first one, ‘climate change’ referred to turning the central heating up or down.
From the letter that poured in (Thank you, Mrs. Betty Evans, of Fishguard Harbour), you apparently  enjoy reading my tales of theatrical disasters.
By which I don’t mean shows that were so bad that they closed after the first night or soon after, which is always terrible for the actors and crew who lose out on their wages . . . and disappointed audiences who have to seek refunds.
I’m referring to things that go wrong on stage during a show which send the actors into panic mode and the audience into hysterics.
Forgive me if I’ve told you this one, but it’s worth repeating.
The 1972 opening night of an ambitious stage musical based on the film “Gone With The Wind” – at the Theatre Royal Drury Lane – has gone down in theatrical lore.
Bonnie Langford, then barely nine years old, appeared in it and at one point she entered on a horse-drawn buggy. Unfortunately, something startled the horse and a large pile of manure suddenly appeared on stage.
When ‘The Master’ of wit, Noel Coward, was asked his thoughts on this first performance, he declared “Its two main problems could have been solved easily, by placing the annoying child up the rear end of the horse!”
Brian Cox, the distinguished film, TV and theatre actor, started out as an assistant stage manager, which mainly involved him sitting at the side of the stage in the ‘prompt corner’, with the script.
He supplied sound effects and if an actor ‘dried’ they’d shout “Line!” and Brian would provide it.
Brian admits he wasn’t very good at this, because, listening to the same lines every night, his mind often wandered.
During one of these moments, an actor in the play suddenly appeared in the wings and whispered “Telephone!”
Brian said “For me?” and the actor said “No! This is the scene where you make the telephone ring on stage!”
Break a leg, dah-lings!