I’ve previously admitted I often write several weeks’ worth of articles in advance, mainly because I’m so creative I can’t stop the words pouring out of me.
Who said, “Pull the other one, Phil”? Cheek!
Okay, the truth is, I do it in case something unpredictable occurs that prevents me from submitting articles by the set deadline.
Having taken this precaution for years, it’s now paid off, because something unpredictable DID occur that would have prevented me from meeting several deadlines and might have led to me meeting my maker . . .
Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin…
0n Sunday March 9, while on holiday in the beautiful Italian ski resort of Cervinia, at the foot of the Matterhorn Glacier, I had an accident.
You could say I ran out of talent, as the skiing conditions were challenging, even for a seasoned skier of more than 20 years like yours truly.
While not seeking your sympathy (it’s too late for that – where were you with grapes and chocolates at the time?), it’s worth stressing that I didn’t just sprain an ankle or break an arm.
My fall was so serious, I had to be stretchered off the mountain and airlifted by helicopter to a hospital in the Aosta Valley,  where I spent the next 10 days – well over the week’s holiday I’d booked!
I had a collapsed lung (the scariest injury of the lot), five broken ribs and a broken collarbone.
In hospital, they put a drain in my chest to aid recovery and pain killers were administered by drip.
The painkillers were so strong I could have easily been friendly with people I didn’t like . . . and at times people who weren’t actually there.
Now, that’s a ‘high dose’!
The medical staff in the Italian hospital were all excellent and the fact that few of them spoke fluent English didn’t hamper the attention I received.
In retrospect, it could have been much worse.
Unfortunately, my travel insurance company (whose job it was to plan my repatriation) failed to act as quickly and efficiently as I would have liked, which they rarely do when you really need them.
In fact, it took a lot of international phone calls before they decided to pull their proverbial finger out.
Memo to all travel insurers – when you’re in a bed in a foreign hospital, feeling at your lowest, you want help, not hindrance.
Eventually, as it was too risky to fly me home, due to the collapsed lung, repatriation was arranged by ambulance, accompanied by two Italian paramedics, who shared the driving for more than 20 hours, door to door.
An ambulance is not a mode of transport recommended if you want to see the sights of Europe, but the journey was very educational.
I discovered that potholes are not unique to Wales. There are several thousand between Italy and Ammanford, I know because we hit every one.
Recovery is going well, although the high dose of painkillers does make my head fuzzy at times.
As you might be able to tell from this article!
On the plus side, I’m here to tell the tale, thanks to the good people who attended to me immediately after my tumble and in the hospital later.
Once again, that proves that none of us can get through life (or a near-death experience) without the help of others.
Next week – back to the usual nonsense!