Once again we find ourselves in, what I personally regard as, that strange netherworld ’twixt December 25th and New Years’s Eve.
Quite a few of you will have opened your presents on the big day and reacted with a variation of the familiar mix of gratitude and subtle diplomacy.
“Thank you so much. This is just what I wanted. Did you, err, keep the receipt?”
So, as the old year slowly nudges us towards a new year, as promised a while ago, let me try and raise a seasonal chuckle or two with some more pantomime stories.
While the late, great comedian Tom O’ Connor was appearing in a panto in his home city of Liverpool, at one matinee the front two rows of the stalls were occupied by a party from a very upmarket boys’ school.
Tom got to the traditional ‘ghost scene’ in which he had to say to the audience “If you see a ghost, you will let me know, won’t you?”, and as expected, when the ‘ghost’ appeared, 2000 kids screamed “It’s behind you!”
Tom deliberately kept looking left and looking right…everywhere but behind him, creating ear-splitting hysteria.
All of a sudden, there was a moment of silence, during which, one of the posh schoolboys could be heard saying to his chum in the next seat “Don’t bother shouting any more, Charles. The man’s obviously an idiot!”
Comedian Freddie “Parrot Face” Davies was in panto with a talented actress/singer with whom he didn’t get on.
Individually, they were lovely people, but in this particular show they just didn’t gel.
They argued about everything, sometimes moments before they made their joint entrance.
At one performance they were in the wings, engaged in such an explosive exchange of scorching insults and finger-pointing accusations, they missed their cue and a dancer on stage had shuffle towards them and hiss “You’re on!”
Without missing a beat, the lady quickly made her entrance with Freddie right behind her, his hand on her shoulder, as they cheerfully sang “Friends… isn’t it rather nice to have friends?”
I wish you a happy, healthy and peaceful New Year.