I’m late writing this because I was rushed to hospital last week.
There was nothing wrong with me. My sleeve caught in an ambulance door.
While I was being dragged along, I felt stupid.  Especially when people recognised me and I had to return their friendly-but-puzzled waves with my free arm.

But, as stupid as I felt, as we all know, there’s some very stupid persons around.  AKA… VSPs.
A friend of mine recently travelled by train to Northampton from Cardiff which involved changing at Birmingham New Street station. As he hadn’t been there for decades, he was amazed at its transformation.
He reckoned it was like being inside Cardiff airport – but with more people about.
As he crossed the vast concourse and stopped to look up at the Arrival and Departure board, he felt someone suddenly bump into him from behind.
He turned around to see an angry young male VSP holding a phone in his hand on which he’d obviously been texting – thus preventing him from seeing my friend’s 5’ 10” frame standing in front of him.
But. instead of apologising for bumping into my friend, the VSP who’d been oblivious to people around him as he texted, proved conclusively he was a VSP by shouting at my friend “Oi Mate! You can’t just stop walking when you want to like that!” You can’t what!?
The angry VSP actually meant, “You shouldn’t get in my way when I’m texting because I’m more important than you.”
The belligerent Brummie then said, “So what have you got to say?”
Now, while my friend is no Dwayne Johnson, he does possess an impressive inventory of incendiary insults he could have used to verbally immolate the VSP. But, there were families around and the VSP was simmering with such self-important anger that things could have turned ugly.
My friend casually asked, “Where can I get a coffee and a sandwich?”
The VSP didn’t or wouldn’t answer, muttered something under his breath and hurried off, texting again! No lessons learned that day!
Lewis Carroll warned “Beware the Jabberwock, my son!”
I say, “Beware the VSP…everyone!”