Groucho Marx famously quipped, “I refuse to join any club that would accept me as a member”. There are numerous ‘clubs’ that I refuse to join – which, being honest, is all I have in common with Groucho.
TV soap fans are members of a ‘club’ I’d never join. I don’t watch soaps and don’t want them cluttering-up my evening’s viewing.
Years ago, when “Emmerdale” was just an allotment full of mangled wurzels. I once glanced up from my homework to see a couple of ruddy-faced yokels leaning on a wooden gate, pointing at a herd of cows with gnarled walking sticks and wondered what a herd of cows were doing with gnarled walking sticks – but that was my only exposure to the long-running soap.
As for “Coronation Street”, has Ena Sharples bought a new hairnet recently?
There are ‘clubs’ devoted to epic TV series that feature sword-swinging, fierce-faced warriors with muscular names like Oaken Thunderbolt-Chewer, Ironjaw Headsplitter and Professor Brinley Llewellyn-Jones.
Err…maybe I mis-heard that last one?
I know they cost a fortune to make and they’re popular with zillions of fans, but sitting through tortuous, sword-clanging hours of “Game Of Thrones”, “House Of The Dragon” and “The Rings Of Power”, the “Lord Of The Rings” continuation, has absolutely no appeal for me.
Yes, I do know some of them are filmed in Wales using Welsh talent.
But, look at it this way – by avoiding these shows I’m not being disloyal to the land of my fathers. I’m being ultra-loyal to my retinas.
To put it in simple terms – life is much too short and these series are far too long.
The latest and, I understand from what I’ve heard, most controversial series of “The Crown” recently started. You may be a member of ‘the club’ who enjoy it.
Personally, I’ve as much interest in the Royal Family as they have in the method Phil Evans uses to grout his bathroom tiles.
So why would I watch a bunch of actors impersonating them while speaking made-up dialogue?
As for my opinion on the Doctor Who ‘club’, well let me…
(Phil. You’ve exceeded the required number of words. Ed)