Theatres and other entertainment venues have had an uncertain, stop-start time since the 2020 lockdown.
Those of us who work in the entertainment business or enjoy attending ‘live’ performances hope normality is returned to sooner rather than later.
In the meantime, allow me to tell you some stories about the theatre I hope will amuse you.
Sir Noel Coward had what he referred to as ‘A talent to amuse’, which considering his huge body of work as a playwright, author, songwriter, director and actor is some understatement.
Known as ‘The Master’, he was invited to countless opening nights and after the curtain fell would be asked to go backstage and meet the cast, the director, the writer and the producers, all waiting anxiously to hear the Master’s valued opinion on the production they might have toiled over for years.
Even if the show was an obvious stinker, ever the diplomat, Noel would simply smile, put out his arms and say four words which would be interpreted as praise, even if he secretly thought the show would close within days…
“What can I say?”
However, later in life he became more waspish in his opinions as he was after watching the disastrous opening night of a musical version of “Gone With The Wind” at the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane.
In one scene a real horse pulled a carriage upon which sat a very young Bonnie Langford, singing one of the shows unmemorable songs.
When the song ended, the audience applauded, frightening the horse so much it performed a very loud, very smelly natural function all over the stage.
When asked what he thought of the show, Noel said in his famous clipped manner, “It could be con-sid-er-a-bly improved if they stuffed the young girl up the horse’s backside!”
One of my favourite theatre stories involves Sir Ralph Richardson who was starring in a new West End play.
About 30 minutes into the show, Sir Ralph suddenly called out, “Is there a doctor in the house?”
When an audience member stood up and shouted “Yes!”, Sir Ralph said, “Doctor. Isn’t this a terrible play?”
See you in the dress circle!