Six months ago I loaned a friend £5,000 to have plastic surgery and I’ve been unable to get my money back. The operation was so successful, I have no idea what he looks like.
Many glamour models fade from view as they get older, but former model and weightlifter Jodie Marsh is the host of a new American TV series that features people who’ve had disastrous plastic surgery. That’s quite an achievement, so I take my hat off to Jodie. After all, she’s taken much more off for me in the past.
The first recorded case of reconstructive surgery dates back to Ancient Egypt, which is surprising when you consider that The Sphinx has badly needed a nose job for centuries.
The first plastic surgery as we know it, was carried out by an American surgeon in 1927 to cure a cleft palate. Since then it’s saved the looks and mental well-being of thousands upon thousands of people who’ve been ill, badly injured, burned or born with a facial disfigurement.
Today, thanks to the proliferation of celebrities – i.e. anyone who’s stood in front of a TV camera for more than two minutes- having boob jobs, nose jobs, neck jobs etc., ( all of which cost big money, so they’re not bob-a-jobs), plastic surgery is so common with the general public, it’s almost treated like a visit to the dentist.
As I hate visiting the dentist – unless he invites me to tea – I won’t be having any bodily enhancement. Even though some ladies have commented I could do with an extra inch or two . . . on my biceps!
Because all surgical procedures have in-built risks and can be traumatic for the patient, I don’t understand why anyone would want to go under the knife voluntarily for the sake of vanity.
Most of us don’t look like Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt.
For example, Mrs. Betty Williams-Pryce, our local postmistress, doesn’t resemble either of them. But we do the best we can with what we’ve got . . . without resorting to plastic surgery.
There was a time when the only people who felt compelled to (and could afford to) undergo plastic surgery voluntarily were Hollywood film stars, anxious to hang on to their perfect looks and prolong their careers.
Eventually, at some point they were forced to bow to the fact that even with face-lifts and wigs, the public would no longer accept them as a dashing leading men or glamorous leading women.
I can relate to that.
I no longer get offered the tousle-haired, debonair young man parts that Hugh Grant has rejected. Hard to believe I know.
When their tucks become un-tucked, former matinee idols move into character parts – wise old mentors, crooked politicians etc – until the day they swap the six am make-up chair for an all-day rocking chair on the porch of their ranch, where they reminisce about all the gorgeous leading ladies they seduced when they were young, virile and impossibly handsome.
Yes, you’re right. I can’t relate to that.