Breakfast TV

Whenever I watch a brace of breakfast TV presenters ‘bring me up to date’ with what’s been happening in the world since I cuddled-up with my Teddy Bear the night before, it feels like I’m being beaten over the head with a rolled-up newspaper that only features Trump, North Korea and Brexit.

As the two presenters take turns reading the autocue – first him, then her, then him, then her – it’s like listening to a gloomy, tuneless duet. What a way to start the day!

Incidentally, why are two news presenters necessary on breakfast TV, but just one after six pm?

I’ve complained before about ITV One’s mean attitude towards ‘opting out’ to the regions during their breakfast TV show.

In Wales, Andrew “Gooooood Morning!” Jones tears through local news, sport and travel in 90 seconds – which includes an advert for the coffee shop chain sponsoring the weather report!

But having recently watched some local evening news programmes that struggled to fill 30 minutes, I now think 90 seconds might be over generous.

It’s not just local news that frequently features a report so uninteresting that even the person(s) it features would be tempted to switch channels before it finished.

BBC, ITV and Sky all recently covered the story of a Swedish woman who’d lost her wedding ring 16 years ago and found it in her garden, wrapped around a carrot.  Hold the front page!

Film crews and reporters were hurriedly dispatched to her home. I watched incredulously as each rolling news channel interviewed her for two . . . three . . . five . . . seven minutes!

In the space of 12 hours I saw that ring and carrot so many times I could paint it from memory, with my eyes shut, wearing a blindfold, in a darkened room,

Believe me that’s a much more constructive way to pass the time than watching rolling TV news.