You’ll see them up and down the land

Descend on bars and clubs

They’ll knock back drinks from 1pm

And pack out all the pubs

 

They start off looking tidy

From the office they’ve come straight

I’ll only have a few

Because I’m not to be home late

 

But one leads to another

By the time you go bar hopping

You forget you’d told the Mrs

That you’d help her with the shopping

 

And now you’re on your 7th pint

You check your mobile phone

12 missed calls and 13 texts

So many ways to moan!

 

You hear your friends “just one more pint”

We’ll just try one more bar

It’s only there across the road

But your legs won’t walk that far…

 

The time has come, you can’t stand up

You really need your bed

Your eyes are seeing double

There’s a banging in your head….

 

You call the wife to pick you up

But don’t know where you are

Your friends have gone, it’s very late

And you’re holding some bird’s bra

 

So if you want a quiet life

And Christmas full of cheer

Help the Mrs with the shop

And stay away from beer!